Wednesday, May 13, 2009

"I can't let go I'm-- SO emotional!"

I guess I am going to treat this more like a journal for this post--
I am such an emotional person. I hang on to EVERYTHING. Whenever I drive past the house I grew up in- I have to tell everyone about it and I start thinking about memories that happened there. Same with my elementary school. And every other house I've lived in or school I have gone to. Lately I have been missing California SO much. But when I was there- I missed Utah. I didn't have very many friends out there but the family I lived with was amazing and although it was super crazy/chaotic and at times I thought I would go insane- I still love it and miss it terribly. I want to go back and visit, but its not really the same anymore, especially now that it has been a year since I moved back to Utah. Now- I miss being in Logan. (I miss my roommates! It is such a blessing I know them and are close to them!) But when I was there towards the end I was so ready to be done with school and move back home. I do love kaysville, but it isn't the same as it used to be (of course.) All of my good friends are gone (except one who never hangs out with me.... hint hint! ;) jk...but seriously!) And the people that do live here- It just isn't the same! I don't know how else to put it. I guess all I am trying to say is that I wish I were better at making friends. Or even better- I wish I didn't feel like I NEED to be out doing something. I mean- I am fine a lot of the time just hanging out around my house with my family- but there are some nights where I just want to go be social and hang out and do something fun there is one thing lacking- someone to do it with.
I often find myself dwelling on old memories- old loves, old best friends, old lifestyles.... and there isn't anything I can do about missing them! I guess it is good that I have a lot of good memories, but I hope I don't look back at where I am right now and see only a sad girl looking back even further.

I guess the moral to all of this missing-where-I-used-to-be is to start loving where I am so that when I have to move onto something else, I won't look back and have any regrets if things that I didn't do.

The family from California... I seriously love them so much! Kira, Samantha, Matthew, Amanda, Alexa, and Joseph. And yes I took them out for dinner at a pizza place all by myself! :)


  1. ky... come back! logan misses you and i miss you too! and i love that i can tell everyone your childhood stories. i think about them everytime i am in the area of adams park haha. Also, the little boy in picture #3 looks like my brother sam when he was a little boy. CUTE!

  2. Hey if your ever feeling bored I know of three blondies who would love to see you. Ok make the five blondies that would love to see you:)

  3. i know exactly how you feel! i live in the past, always! and i could be wrong but if that hint was towards me you just need to get your butt over to my house. seriously cuz i love that you're home :) love you ky!